Quite agree with you Nick. Goes like:
"Mornin' laads. Gannin doon t'pit athee?"
"Yes, just having a look in the old level there"
"Then yees knaa that its ain preevat land an' tha has ta pay a poond owwer at t' big hoose"
"Sorry, didn't know, its our first time here, just looked on the map and theres a footpath right by and no signs or anything, so thought it would be OK"
"Aye, well, theres bin sum silly buggaz aboot lately. Mind 'ow yees gan, and dinnae ferget yer poond - each!"
"OK thanks, Officer, we won't forget"
MARK